In the light of all that is wonderful and perfect in impartial imperfection of a world so unforgiving,
I thank God for the beauty of you.
Sitting on a brick paver
watching trucks in Daytona,
Mama looked over at me and spoke straight to my heart,
“If only Grip was here. I wonder what he would think of this”
In that moment, my brain understood the confusion of the heavy feeling in my heart.
The physical pain that filled my chest
Every time someone in a Ford
Smashed the gas and left
Thick black clouds of diesel exhaust.
At my desk at work
Hyped up on coffee
I’m typing so fast that my thoughts are delayed
Compared to the letters dancing on the screen
until my fingers stop moving after I type the date.
Tomorrow’s your day.
7/19 will never be the same.
It always brings a twinge of pain,
Followed by smiles,
Overall good vibes that I can feel
But can’t explain.
So as I sit here,
The tears have come and
I blinked them away quickly
Because I feel the pressure of your love wrapping around me.
All that you were shines on me,
Even in the storms.
All that you are, whispers in the winds and
Flows over me like a smooth breeze coming off the lake.
All that you would be is carried in me
With every accomplishment
(big or small)
That God gives me strength to achieve.
Every day you shine through the clouds on me
Every day I rub my side
Where your name is on my skin.
7/19 and every day,
Grip, I love you always.