Tag Archives: purpose

If Words Were a Hug

I would be lying if I said that this is how I expected my life to be. I’m grateful, but truthfully, most days I’m frustrated with myself. I can be so hard on myself, as if I could see the future when I was making decisions. I’m further along than many, but I’m far behind where I want to be. I’m in an endless cycle of burnout and exhaustion on this “journey” to figure out what actually matters to me. Healing isn’t always pretty. It’s not just hot baths, flights and flowers; some nights, it’s crying in the mirror and saying all the things that you want to hear from someone else, until you feel safe and loved. This is the result of one of those nights.


I love you.
I love you.
I love you.”
I’m sitting in front of the mirror. The room is illuminated by the dancing flicker of the flame from my chakra candles.
Green for my heart. Orange for my Sacral.
Nobody exists but me.
Nobody is coming to “save me”.
Tears fall, but I keep talking because I need to hear it to feel it.

I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I forgive you.
I forgive you for the times you didn’t listen to your intuition.
I forgive you for putting the pleasure, joy, and well being of others ahead of your own.
I believe in you.
Today. Tomorrow. Every day.
Clear the noise and know that I am proud of you.”

As a smile spreads freely across my face and the salt of my tears touches my taste buds, I am reminded that all is well.

Let this be a reminder to you:
All is well. Though you may not feel it now, you are whole. You are loved. You are valued. Every day.

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Be the Light

It’s been a while since my last post so let me start by apologizing for my procrastination and general fear of sharing, but I also want to thank my loyal readers (all ten of y’all) and first time readers for reading. 

Now that that’s squared away. Hey y’all!

I created this blog for many reasons, two of them being to uplift people and let them know that they are not alone. In the last few months, I lost sight of that.  I wanted everything to be perfect and of course, nothing was perfect meaning nothing was published. I also felt that what I was writing wasn’t worth sharing. I’ve been writing, Lord knows I’ve been writing. Notebooks, napkins, the “Notes” app in my iPhone, my bathroom mirror. There are plenty of words, but do they matter? Does my blog actually help anyone? More than that, do I make a difference? A conversation with my favorite person made me remember why I must keep writing and sharing this journey.

We were sitting in her living room and she said something along the lines of “I just feel like my life has no purpose. What’s the point?” Loving her as much as I do, hearing those words made my heart hurt. How could she be as beautifully made as she is, and be blind to her own perfection? Does she not realize how important she is? Have I made her feel unappreciated? My mind was flooding with questions, but none of them came out. Before I could think of a reassuring response, I heard myself say:

“Maybe you’re not here for you right now.Just think of what our lives would be without you”

I wasn’t speaking only of myself, but also my sister, boyfriend, cousins, and everyone else whose life she plays a pivotal role in. I call her every day after work even though I’ve texted her throughout the day. She’s undeniably my best friend, but she’s a friend, mother, and counselor to so many others and I knew one day she would realize that.

A few days later, we were in her living room and she said, “You know, you were right about what you said the other day.” She helped someone with an issue they were working through and they expressed their gratitude and appreciation for her.

That conversation was just as eye opening for me as it was for her. I found that the purpose of a moment in life isn’t always spelled out. There will be times in life when it seems like nothing is going on or you aren’t accomplishing anything but those moments are so important. Share your love, wisdom and knowledge and be open to receive the same from others. Smile when you don’t feel like it. Be kind to others and yourself. In those moments when you’re feeling useless, push through and continue to be the light for others because it’s in that same light that you will find yourself.

 

“Even if you are a small forest surviving off of moon alone, your light is extraordinary.”
― Nayyirah Waheed