Tag Archives: self-love

Stretch and Rest

When was the last time that you stretched? I’m not talking about yoga or a refreshing, deep yawn after a good night’s sleep. I’m asking about your mind, body, spirit, heart, all of you. When was the last time that you stretched? We can get caught up in regular life – work, school, family – so much so that we forget to reach outside of our norm. Conversations about burnout have made me wonder if some of the burnout that we are experiencing is a result of not doing enough, as opposed to doing too much. Hear me out.

What happens when you get settled into any routine? You get bored. Whether it’s physical or mental, boredom creeps in and manifests in many different ways. In the gym, progress begins to slow or completely plateau. In relationships, the spark dissipates and distractions creep in. At work, the job begins to feel like a trap. As a result of the boredom, you may feel depressed, anxious, and/or unfulfilled by something that once brought you joy. Instead of excitement, all you feel is dread or exhaustion, not just with that routine, relationship, or job, but with life as a whole. I feel that it may be boredom-induced burnout and instead of quitting or giving up, it may be time for a stretch.

Change up the routine! If you stop noticing results in your workout routine, consult a trainer or nutritionist for guidance on what changes need to be made to get back on track. In relationships, try something new for date night. Schedule it so that it doesn’t get forgotten, add in conversation cards if it’s been a while since you spoke about something other than work or kids. Place the focus back on the people involved in the relationship instead of the distractions that may have crept in. At work, decide what you want to achieve in that role. Is it time to expand into a different role? Is there a skill that you would like to add to your resume to make you more marketable? Don’t be afraid to challenge yourself.

On the other end of things, let’s talk about rest. I believe that boredom can lead to burnout but so can lack of rest. When was the last time that you disconnected from everything? When was the last time that you walked instead of your usual run? Had a non-business dinner date instead of a business meeting? Danced slowly through the house while sipping your favorite drink, listening to your favorite sounds? Have you been so focused on challenging yourself that you haven’t taken the time to rest and replenish?

This is the other side of burnout. You’ve pushed so hard for so long that everything in you is begging you to slow down and rest for a bit. Burnout isn’t sudden, it drops hints. Those workouts where you struggle to do your most basic moves or sustain an avoidable injury, could be caused by you overworking yourself. The brain fog during meetings, increase in lack of patience for people closest to you, and restless nights of sleep are all signs that burnout could be approaching and it is time to rest. 

Don’t mistake resting with quitting. Resting welcomes recovery of the mind, body and spirit so that you can proceed on your mission after the rest period has ended. I encourage including times for rest twice daily  – once in the morning before starting the day and once in the evening before bed. Rest doesn’t have to be laying around or doing nothing, rest is an act of replenishment. For you, that may be a morning walk, meditation/prayer, dancing with coffee before waking the kids or going to work. It may mean turning off all screens an hour before bed, being intentional about spending time with those you care for most, or reading. Including small acts into daily routines may help eliminate burnout as it allows you to find a flow in your life rather than fighting against time.

Now, what do you think about the combination of both lack of stretching and lack of resting? Not doing enough challenging activity and then not resting enough to replenish the energy spent. Let me know your experiences with burnout. How do you stretch? How do you rest? Essentially, how are you taking care of yourself in these burnout filled streets?

If Words Were a Hug

I would be lying if I said that this is how I expected my life to be. I’m grateful, but truthfully, most days I’m frustrated with myself. I can be so hard on myself, as if I could see the future when I was making decisions. I’m further along than many, but I’m far behind where I want to be. I’m in an endless cycle of burnout and exhaustion on this “journey” to figure out what actually matters to me. Healing isn’t always pretty. It’s not just hot baths, flights and flowers; some nights, it’s crying in the mirror and saying all the things that you want to hear from someone else, until you feel safe and loved. This is the result of one of those nights.


I love you.
I love you.
I love you.”
I’m sitting in front of the mirror. The room is illuminated by the dancing flicker of the flame from my chakra candles.
Green for my heart. Orange for my Sacral.
Nobody exists but me.
Nobody is coming to “save me”.
Tears fall, but I keep talking because I need to hear it to feel it.

I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I forgive you.
I forgive you for the times you didn’t listen to your intuition.
I forgive you for putting the pleasure, joy, and well being of others ahead of your own.
I believe in you.
Today. Tomorrow. Every day.
Clear the noise and know that I am proud of you.”

As a smile spreads freely across my face and the salt of my tears touches my taste buds, I am reminded that all is well.

Let this be a reminder to you:
All is well. Though you may not feel it now, you are whole. You are loved. You are valued. Every day.

Talk Your Shit

Have you noticed how often confidence is incorrectly labeled as arrogance or cockiness? As if your hard work, research, sleepless nights and failures didn’t exist and your accomplishments were all dumb luck. All that you’ve poured into your area of expertise gives you the right to speak with confidence and conviction. Don’t allow bystanders and nosebleed seat fillers to dim your light because there’s a reason they have time to be so critical – they’re WATCHING, not working. The people who are grindin’ and focusing on leveling up offer solutions and constructive criticism.

So.

I implore you. I beg you.

PLEASE, TALK YOUR SHIT!

You didn’t work this hard to be silent.

Flex!

Share your talents, knowledge, and hard work without shame or fear. Hold your head high and look “them” in the eyes while you talk your shit.


Talk Your Shit

I AIN’T RUNNING FROM NOTHIN’

For the first time in as long as I can remember, I’m not running. I’m standing with my face to the sun. On days when the sun doesn’t shine, I stand toe to toe with my fears. I question my attachments because what got me here won’t get me where I want to go.

Laying on the beach. Solo. The wind’s blowing wild, the birds are singing and the waves are crushing my insecurities. My toe’s fucked up, but the X-ray said it’s not broken so I sip my nasty beer and eat my delicious ham sammich. I wiggle my toes a little bit to make sure this moment of solitude and serenity is real. The twinge of pain that shoots up my foot confirms, shit’s real.

The sandwich is done. I’m in a bikini that fits better now than it did in 2013 when I bought it, but I still have belly to rub. I’m rubbin my belly, fantasizing about the life I’m creating and tossing around the revelation that I’m not running from anything. Instead, I took a beach day for myself because it’s what I wanted. I made it a solo day because I only wanted to be with me. Not because life is too heavy or because I’m scared to face reality, but because I wanted to enjoy a moment with my star player.

Smiling at the water. Salt on my lips.

I’m flowing to my purpose. I’m in alignment. I’m divinely positioned and it’s all making sense now. It’s me, myself and I against any issues and it’s not aggression, but a search for understanding that shapes my perception. Watermelon juice dripping off my chin. Ice cold Capri Sun quenching my thirst. Rubbing my fat ass belly on the beach.

I’m divinely positioned and I’m feeling just fine.

Something Like a Spring Garden

Small moments mean the world to me because I know what it’s like when those moments don’t happen. I ask you to help me build something or to teach me your perspective because those are moments we didn’t get before.

As I’m growing, I have learned to look at you as a man, not just my dad. That shift in perspective helps me see you. Not your mistakes or shortcomings, just you. It allows me to extend patience and speak freely.

You’re my dad, but I choose for you to be my homie.

This is my healing. This is me forgiving. This is us growing.

Every project completed and every honest conversation is a step forward.

I’m in therapy learning skills that allow me to navigate the blocks engrained in me since conception, but it’s out here with you that the heavy lifting happens. I never say it aloud-I get that whole “taking shit for granted” vibe from you, but I’m learning-but I appreciate the times you show up. I’m grateful for you and look forward to seeing you grow because you’re never too old to do your best.

Ay Da! Thanks for doing yard work and asking to take a picture with me on Easter, that’s major.